Yeah, I've been away for awhile. What can I say, I got a new 9-5, then I the holidays snuck up on me and well, there's the booze. But I have returned and will try to make these more frequent. Maybe once a week.
Triumph the Insult Comic Dog Does Hawaii
Good News/Bad News: Jesus Is Coming In May
Navy Gone Wild
Trailer Park: Fast Five - Your Highness - Pirates of the Caribbean 4
Triumph the Insult Comic Dog Does Hawaii
In honor of the truly shitty weather we've been having I decided to throw this old clip that he did a few years ago. You can tell its a little old by the quality of the video.
Now normally I love Hawaii. I mean if anyone offered me a free ticket I'd take it 9 out of 10 times. But after the last snowfall I'm a little bit on the envious side. If Hawaii were a person I'd follow it into a dark alleyway stab it, and steal the weather. I'm from Peru so fuck this 20° bullshit. I can hardly move when its that cold!
So until it gets warmer, or I actually go there, Fuck Hawaii.
Good News/Bad News: Jesus Is Coming In May
That's right save the date Jesus returns on May 11, 2011 (yay!). You'd think that's just good news, but alas, according to Christians all over, when Jesus comes back means the world is about to end (poo).
The latest batch of religious nuts now have figured out the date for the return of Jesus. And they want to warn us that this is going to happen in just a few months. Though they don't tell us where he is coming back to. Personally, I hope he doesn't land in the middle east again as that didn't work out so well for him before. Shoot, if he lands there now we may actually mistake him for Osama Bin Laden and accidentally bomb him. I mean we all know how most Americans feel about bearded middle east folk. I hope he lands nearby as I'd love to take a picture with him and post it on Facebook (I'd label it, "Me and Slick J").
Now, I'm glad that this chick is nice enough to warn us all about the upcoming rapture and all, but seriously can't Jesus wait until winter? What race will he come back as? And what does it mean that he's coming in May? Does it mean that in May 11 he'll do the whole 'being born' thing again? Or will he come back already grown up? And if he is born and sends some people early to heaven (which means KILLING their mortal bodies) and then destroys the rest of the world, doesn't that make him the anti-Christ? Can't Deities come up with a better way to get our attention other than mass murder? Ahhh all these questions. Maybe I can friend this chick on Facebook and get some answers. Until then, here is a Jesus that doesn't want to kill all of us, but wants to be our buddy:
Now for an eerie twist, there have been some events that have recently been happening that may get the fearful to further believe the end is near. In Arkansas thousands of birds have apparently just fallen from the skies on New Year's eve for some unknown reason. There are some attempted scientific explanations such as high altitude hail (which is odd that it never became low altitude hail), or lightning. Yes, the explanations are weak, but it just happened so people are still looking into it. Now coincidentally about 100,000 fishes are dead in Arkansas (about 100 miles from the bird incident). People for now just think the fish died of a disease which is better than lighting killing a few thousand birds. I don't know what our home-girl from the video above feels about all of this, but I bet she's not worried about continuing her car payments past May.
Navy Gone Wild
Apparently a former navy XO (Executive Officer) made the mistake of having a personality and a wicked sense of humor while in the Navy. This guy has been making some videos that do not represent the best the Navy has to offer. Now I'm all for play wherever you are and for funny little skits, but not while wearing a uniform. The newscaster stiffens things up quite a bit, but once you get to the video clips you may find it quite funny. Now the guy has been relieved of duty, but his videos will live forever somewhere...
Again, shame on him while doing it on duty, but dang some of that ish is kinda funny. Now I know guys shower together all the time. At the gym, in dorms, in YMCA's and Boy's and Girl's clubs, but, if dudes are going to shower together, shouldn't they find a bigger shower? I know if it was a shower that small I'd just wait for the other mutherfucker to finish and get out (the girls are fine). I mean they had to deal with "Don't Ask Don't Tell" back then and if you see that shower piece you don't really have to ask, and you hope to God they decide not to tell.
Trailer Park:
Fast Five
The fast are still furious and this time they have to deal with The Rock. This sequel actually does look pretty cool and The Rock looks as ready to rip someone's head off as ever. The last movie wasn't terrible and I'd catch this as I'm a Rock fan, and Paul Walker is actually starting to win me over (please see his performance in Running Scared before you laugh at me too much)
Your Highness
This is what we in the business call a "Red-Band Trailer" (as opposed to the green-band trailers). Simply, this means that it is not meant for all audiences. This one is with another actor (James Franco) who I think will win an Oscar some day (though not for this but maybe for "127 Hours"). When I first started to watch this I thought it was pretty bad, until the booze kicked in and then I thought this was pretty funny. Oh and Natalie Portman is in this, and yeah she looks good.
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Captain Jack Sparrow is back... again. This time he is going after the Fountain of Youth. Now all the Orlando Bloom fans will be disappointed to hear that he does not return in this one. I hope this one is good as the last Pirates movie left a bad taste in my mouth. I don't know why Penelope Cruz is playing a hot chick, but alas she is, and as always she looks like she needs more body to really come off as hot.
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