Monday, January 31, 2011
January Ends
Triumph at Comic Con
This is Just Disturbing
Hackensack in the News
Infamuz Movie Review: The Green Hornet
Trailer Park: Battle: Los Angeles
Triumph at Comic Con
I'm on a bit of Triumph binge right now. I really wanted to play a different video, but it was blocked from sharing. But this one's a pretty funny one. He goes after the extreme version of geekdom, he goes to comic con. Comic con, for those of you who don't know, is an annual convention of shit nerds and dorks like like comic books, old sci-fi television shows, action figure collectibles, comic books at great prices (even rare ones... so I've been told...). You also have comic book and TV show creators and stars, you are basically in geek heaven (though now-a-days they're pretty much gone commercial though). Anyway by the list of things I've listed, you can bet that the geekiest of geeks go to these things and tend to... well, you know... get their geek on. ANYWAY, these guys get triumph to open up their super-geek convention.
I will say that its best you get a drink, and set up a smooth vibe and just think of the geekiest cat you knew back in High School.
LOL, I love that guy. I remember when I first saw him on Conan, I had tears running down my face and couldn't stop laughing. It was when he went to a Star Trek Convention and just talked to the people on line. I tried to embed that video but couldn't. I do have a Link you can click here. Oh man, he's terrible to some of these people, but honestly, they need to hear it.
This is Just Disturbing
Now being an upstanding citizen, I normally frown on bringing up adult movies in such a high class environment as this one. I've kept it relatively clean save for some "risque" language.
Now the adult industry is no stranger of ripping off television and film characters in order to rake in a few bucks. At the end of the day these are usually at least a little bit of a hoot since its an adult movie. With adult movies, there are certain expectations outside of the sexual content. We expect the script to be terrible, and for the female characters to get turned on by things that no normal woman would get turned on by.
People who watch these movies put these critiques aside in favor of said 'sexual content'. When I saw the Seinfeld porn, it was a little weird and not too sexy, but it still got the job done (I found the Friends porn much better). This... may just be a little too disturbing, I don't see this as something that would get the job done. I don't even know why anyone would think this would be a good idea. It disturbed me so much, I thought, "Hey, I should disturb others with this."
Put all senses on hold and watch:
See? You just come out of it feeling a little too sleazy.
Hackensack in the News
Yes, well as you know, Hackensack is a world famous city. A city so filled with hope that is has the distinct honor of being targeted by Lex Luthor himself (in the first Superman movie). Superman saved us and all is well now. Well just today, a freaking plane landed on Rt 80.
Yeah, it was a small plane, but its still interesting. Now this doesn't have the same gravity as Lex Luthor targeting us with a Missile, but this about as interesting as you get in the real world. Thankfully nobody was hurt, and the plane got towed. I'd love to have a drink with the pilot, as he now has a kick-ass story about how he, "had to land on Rt 80 this one time." I know I'd milk that story everywhere I went. Shit, if the name of the pilot doesn't really go out, I'd pretend I was him.
Movie Review: The Green Hornet
OK, I'm geeky about certain things, and that includes superheroes. I always hope for the best when it comes to turning a beloved comic book character into a box office draw. This one is a special case as this character's actual origins are not comic books but radio serials back in 'the good old days'. But it wasn't too long before he had a comic book of his own. At the time of the campy batman show, the Green Hornet actually had its own program. It wasn't as campy, but it wasn't great stuff either. The best thing about it was that Bruce Lee played Kato.
This movie is not bad. If I sound a little down on the movie is simply because I was expecting it to be better. The cast was there. Kato was cool and unmatched in hand to hand combat, Britt, who was played by Seth Rogen, was... well he was Seth Rogen. You kind of know what to expect from him and he delivers the same.
The action scenes were pretty cool, as was that 'Kato Vision' (how Kato sees things as he's whooping everyone's ass). In Thailand Jay Chou (Kato) is a pretty big pop star and actor. You can definitely see his charisma, though he does seem to struggle with the language a bit. His Kato was charming, funny, and pretty bad-ass. Even with the language issue, you never see Jay's cool get disturbed because he may have trouble pronouncing some stuff. He comes off pretty bad-ass, and I think outshines everyone else with the exception of the main villain.
Christof Waltz plays Chudnofsky, the main mob boss that the Green Hornet needs to take down. Waltz is almost as charming as he was in Inglorious Basterds. Waltz really does great work with what could have been a pretty bland villain. He is definitely a highlight of the movie.
Cameron Diaz shows up to create friction between the guys. She has the great pleasure of playing 'Cameron Diaz at a newspaper company'. You know she's cute, you know she wants to be taken seriously, you know the character. But its not like she was bad, it was just that her character's scenes made me dislike Britt (the Green Hornet). Apparently he cannot help being a complete douche around her. I don't know what the whole purpose of her character was other than to not make me like the main character.
Overall this movie was not bad, but nothing great either. It does have a bunch of funny moments and the action was crisp. But there are also a bunch of dull moments and a lot of time is spent on not getting me to like the main character. That guy is a spoiled douche at the start of the movie. And at the end even though he does redeem himself in some ways, I still felt like he was still douche at the end of the movie. But I will at least say that he is a douche that risked his life for something worthwhile.
I'd grade it a 7 (out of 10).
(where 1 is 'I would rather kill myself than see this bullshit again', 10 is 'I LOVE THIS MUTHERFUCKING MOVIE!' and 5 is, 'ehhhh, if its on TV and there was nothing on I'd watch it').
Trailer Park:
Battle: Los Angeles
Now everything about this trailer says that this will be a wild movie. They really sold it to me on this trailer. Not only will I just catch it, I'll catch it on the biggest, most obnoxious IMAX or 3D. Just wow. Specially, because I'm a geek, and there's very few things we like more than interstellar war. Michelle Rodriguez is in this, so is Aaron Eckhart. I'm sold on this.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Tuesday's Comeback
Yeah, I've been away for awhile. What can I say, I got a new 9-5, then I the holidays snuck up on me and well, there's the booze. But I have returned and will try to make these more frequent. Maybe once a week.
Triumph the Insult Comic Dog Does Hawaii
Good News/Bad News: Jesus Is Coming In May
Navy Gone Wild
Trailer Park: Fast Five - Your Highness - Pirates of the Caribbean 4
Triumph the Insult Comic Dog Does Hawaii
In honor of the truly shitty weather we've been having I decided to throw this old clip that he did a few years ago. You can tell its a little old by the quality of the video.
Now normally I love Hawaii. I mean if anyone offered me a free ticket I'd take it 9 out of 10 times. But after the last snowfall I'm a little bit on the envious side. If Hawaii were a person I'd follow it into a dark alleyway stab it, and steal the weather. I'm from Peru so fuck this 20° bullshit. I can hardly move when its that cold!
So until it gets warmer, or I actually go there, Fuck Hawaii.
Good News/Bad News: Jesus Is Coming In May
That's right save the date Jesus returns on May 11, 2011 (yay!). You'd think that's just good news, but alas, according to Christians all over, when Jesus comes back means the world is about to end (poo).
The latest batch of religious nuts now have figured out the date for the return of Jesus. And they want to warn us that this is going to happen in just a few months. Though they don't tell us where he is coming back to. Personally, I hope he doesn't land in the middle east again as that didn't work out so well for him before. Shoot, if he lands there now we may actually mistake him for Osama Bin Laden and accidentally bomb him. I mean we all know how most Americans feel about bearded middle east folk. I hope he lands nearby as I'd love to take a picture with him and post it on Facebook (I'd label it, "Me and Slick J").
Now, I'm glad that this chick is nice enough to warn us all about the upcoming rapture and all, but seriously can't Jesus wait until winter? What race will he come back as? And what does it mean that he's coming in May? Does it mean that in May 11 he'll do the whole 'being born' thing again? Or will he come back already grown up? And if he is born and sends some people early to heaven (which means KILLING their mortal bodies) and then destroys the rest of the world, doesn't that make him the anti-Christ? Can't Deities come up with a better way to get our attention other than mass murder? Ahhh all these questions. Maybe I can friend this chick on Facebook and get some answers. Until then, here is a Jesus that doesn't want to kill all of us, but wants to be our buddy:
Now for an eerie twist, there have been some events that have recently been happening that may get the fearful to further believe the end is near. In Arkansas thousands of birds have apparently just fallen from the skies on New Year's eve for some unknown reason. There are some attempted scientific explanations such as high altitude hail (which is odd that it never became low altitude hail), or lightning. Yes, the explanations are weak, but it just happened so people are still looking into it. Now coincidentally about 100,000 fishes are dead in Arkansas (about 100 miles from the bird incident). People for now just think the fish died of a disease which is better than lighting killing a few thousand birds. I don't know what our home-girl from the video above feels about all of this, but I bet she's not worried about continuing her car payments past May.
Navy Gone Wild
Apparently a former navy XO (Executive Officer) made the mistake of having a personality and a wicked sense of humor while in the Navy. This guy has been making some videos that do not represent the best the Navy has to offer. Now I'm all for play wherever you are and for funny little skits, but not while wearing a uniform. The newscaster stiffens things up quite a bit, but once you get to the video clips you may find it quite funny. Now the guy has been relieved of duty, but his videos will live forever somewhere...
Again, shame on him while doing it on duty, but dang some of that ish is kinda funny. Now I know guys shower together all the time. At the gym, in dorms, in YMCA's and Boy's and Girl's clubs, but, if dudes are going to shower together, shouldn't they find a bigger shower? I know if it was a shower that small I'd just wait for the other mutherfucker to finish and get out (the girls are fine). I mean they had to deal with "Don't Ask Don't Tell" back then and if you see that shower piece you don't really have to ask, and you hope to God they decide not to tell.
Trailer Park:
Fast Five
The fast are still furious and this time they have to deal with The Rock. This sequel actually does look pretty cool and The Rock looks as ready to rip someone's head off as ever. The last movie wasn't terrible and I'd catch this as I'm a Rock fan, and Paul Walker is actually starting to win me over (please see his performance in Running Scared before you laugh at me too much)
Your Highness
This is what we in the business call a "Red-Band Trailer" (as opposed to the green-band trailers). Simply, this means that it is not meant for all audiences. This one is with another actor (James Franco) who I think will win an Oscar some day (though not for this but maybe for "127 Hours"). When I first started to watch this I thought it was pretty bad, until the booze kicked in and then I thought this was pretty funny. Oh and Natalie Portman is in this, and yeah she looks good.
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Captain Jack Sparrow is back... again. This time he is going after the Fountain of Youth. Now all the Orlando Bloom fans will be disappointed to hear that he does not return in this one. I hope this one is good as the last Pirates movie left a bad taste in my mouth. I don't know why Penelope Cruz is playing a hot chick, but alas she is, and as always she looks like she needs more body to really come off as hot.
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