Sunshine on a Saturday

In order to attempt to get more of these out more often, I have enlisted my homie who chooses to go by the name of Syncere a.k.a. "The Puff, Puff the Stuff, Puff the Magic Dragon, The Puffinator etc..." To make it easier for people to tell who is writing, we've decided to have him write in this nice blue color. So from now on, when you see something in blue, its not me that said it, its Syncere. At times you'll see him pepper in some comments here and there as well as have his own 'articles'. Today is just an 'article' day.


Free Running
American Guards vs Dominican Guards
Dancing with the Stars?? 
Syncere's Song Recommendation
Trailer Park: Hangover 2; Captain America; & Super


Free Running

Now I know most people have never heard of free running. It is not only a young man's (or woman's) game, it is a very fit young man (or woman's) game. Free running's origins are in France where it s called Parkour. And even though you must go through incredible amounts of training for it, it is not a martial art. It is more of the "Art of Flight". Meaning getting the fuck out of where ever you are in the fastest possible way. Its not a straight up track meet though, it is more about dodging and conquering the obstacles that you may encounter. Now sprinkle a little 'pizazz' on that, and you get free running. And when you see free running you trully see what the human body is capable of. The strength, the agility, the precision, these guys are top-notch.

There is no 'wire work'. The boys can really fly in ways that are just freaking jaw dropping (skip to the 1 minute mark if you just want to start in on the action):




See what I mean about it being a young man's (or woman's) game? I was in pretty good shape as a kid, but not in this kind of shape or coordination. Some of the guys that do this, also go to Japan to compete in Ninja Warrior. They had a whole "American Ninja" contest to see who got to go to Japan and get a shot at their obstacles.

There are actually a bunch of amateur home videos up that have people that show off their skills, and of course there are videos of when they go wrong. If you're the 'sadistic fuck' type you can search for free running accidents. I was going to put one up, but... its just too much. These boys really get hurt bad, and the camera doesn't make them look any better. Maybe I'm getting soft, but I just feel bad for some of these guys.


American Guards vs Dominican Guards

OK, this one is fucked up. I wouldn't show it, but it cracked me up. I'm not sure if you guys haven't had this fowarded to you. A home-girl from work passed this one along. Even though I could tell what was coming, it still managed to tickle me.



See what I mean? Pancho, over there really breaks it down. The beat doesn't rock Pancho, Pancho rocks the beat! Its a good thing they gave him a gun and flat ground, because he doesn't look like a soldier who can run down the enemy.

If I were Dominican I'd find this video insulting. Luckily I'm not, so I find it pretty funny. I mean look at both guys and tell me that Pancho doesn't look the happiest between the two.

Dancing with the Stars??

All right, first things first. I'm not going to discuss the show as a whole. I simply don't watch it. Have they had stars who I dig? Yes. Is their dancing impressive? Yes. Does my girlfriend love the shit out of this show? Yes. Does she wish I like it? Yes, but I just don't. Ballroom dancing simply isn't my thing. But I did catch a couple of moves from Emmit Smith, Jerry Rice, Mark Cuban, Jayson Taylor, Stacy Keibler to name a few. Though it is not my cup of tea, I can appreciate what they have to go through in order to make these moves happen.

As some of the men know, once your woman knows that you know someone from the show, she automatically thinks you want to see them dance. And I must say, it is intriguing specially at first. So with the new season having just started I wanted to talk a little about my two favorite picks. And by favorite, I mean as a 'celebrity' not as a dancer. These are the people I would vote for, if I ever decided to vote for this thing. I'm not a good judge of ballroom dancing so picking a favorite based on that is kind of pointless.

They have a pretty decent cast who deserve some mentions: Kristie Alley (My girl's pick), Sugar Ray Leonard, and Hines Ward.

But my picks for this year are:

Chris Jericho - This is one of my all-time favorite wrestlers (yes I'm that kind of geek too). He was a high flier, and incredibly entertaining. Very good on the Mic, he really knows how to work a crowd. And he was a really good performer, whether he was a good guy or a bad guy. He was a favorite of mine before he made it to the WWE. I remember when the WWE finally signed him, they tried to make it a surprise. This was back in 1999, so they used the whole 'Y2K virus' buzz to his debut. Randomly they counted down a clock for weeks counting down hundreds of hours, and nobody knew why. Finally during a 'promo' by The Rock, it was time for it to conclude, and as a matter of fact, this is his debut:



So anyway, he is one of my picks. My second pick is Macchio. As everyone very well knows, he was the star of one of my favorite (and many others) movie series "The Karate Kid". I know a guy at work that watched the first one everyday for about a week. And not when it first came out, I mean like a month ago (yes the Macchio one). This was one of those 'iconic movies' that everyone can agree was pretty damn good. Shit, I didn't even hear about this here in the states. My brother was keen on this flick since we were back in Peru. I remember he rocked headbands for a bit, and of course so did I (he is 6yrs my senior). But, i will say that I don't remember actually seeing the movie until I got here to the States. I'm one of the few people who even liked the sequels (at least the three Macchio ones, the fourth one, with Hillary Swank didn't really do it for me). I guess the punk kids now-a-days have probably only seen the one with Will Smith's kid. That movie was cool in its own way, but for me you can't really beat the Macchio one.

The Karate Kid movies would have been enough for me to forever revere your work, but Macchio also starred in my favorite comedy of all time, "My Cousin Vinny". Do I need to say anything else about this man? Who doesn't love the shit out of that movie. I've seen it a thousand times, and if it was on right now (unedited), I'd be watching Vinny trying to get the two 'Juts' out of some serious charges. Pesci was the shit in that role and so was Marissa Tomei who actually won the Oscar for her role in it. I often wish they made a 100 sequels for this, but then again I'm glad they never tried to. Comedy sequels usually suck pretty bad. I'm not saying there aren't exceptions, but as a general rule sequels blow.

So these are my two picks for this year's contest. I will not be watching every episodes, as a matter of fact, I expect to miss most of them. I just wish my guys the best and hope they go far... Maybe I should vote.



Syncere's Song Recommendation



I guess I should take the time to introduce Syncere, but ehh, might as well let his first 'piece' speak for itself. As far as the song he mentions goes, I agree 100%. Its now heavily in my song rotation. I can't wait for the album to drop, and I'll probably get it that first day. So without further ado:

------------------------------------------

 

It’s been years since I heard a song like this or at least meaning something very deeply to me.  First, the music video was not what I expected.  I loved the flashback moments more than I did the video. Especially the moments they show 2Pac, the reason why I want to be a song writer/producer. They definitely could put more scenes of Skylar Grey.  Like always, music videos are becoming predictable and meaningless.  I understand that 9/10 times people will watch a Dr. Dre and Eminem video but a song with this much lyrical content and emotion should have a video that matches the song.  

This song is my revelation, I admit for the past few years I lost something in me.  Don’t really know what it is but something has been missing for many years. It starts with the chorus,

“I’m about to lose my mind, you been gone for so long, I running out of time, I need a doctor, call me a doctor, I need a doctor, doctor, to bring me back to life.”

now at this point, I’m in my own world, I see shattered pieces, so I look closely to investigate what’s broken and I realize as I’m trying to piece this mess together that it’s my heart. Then I felt like I was in the center of a circle and every time I turned there was someone differently speaking these lyrics from my closest friends, brothers and family.

“I told the world, one day I would pay it back. Say it on tape and lay it, record it, so that one day I could play it back. But I don't even know if I believe it when I'm saying that. Doubt startin' to creep in, everyday it's just so grey and black. HOPE, I just need a ray of that, 'Cause no one sees my vision, When I play it for 'em, they just say it's wack. But they don't know what dope is. And I don't know if I was awake or asleep when I wrote this. All I know is, you came to me when I was at my lowest. You picked me up, breathed new life in me. I owe my life to you. But for the life of me, I don't see why you don't see like I do. But it just dawned on me; you lost a son, see this light in you it's dark. Let me turn on the lights and brighten me and enlighten you. I don't think you realize what you mean to me, not the slightest clue. 'Cause me and you, were like a crew. I was like your sidekick. You gon' either wanna fight when I get off this fucking mic, or you gon' hug me. But I'm out of options, there's nothing else I can do cause...”

So at this point, I feel lost and insane, but I’m still trying to piece together my heart but it constantly keeps shattering then, I hear,

“It hurts when I see you struggle, you come to me with ideas, you say they're just pieces, so I'm puzzled, 'Cause the shit I hear is crazy, but you're either getting lazy, or you don't believe in you no more. Seems like your own opinions, not one you can form. Can't make a decision, you keep questioning yourself, second guessing, and it's almost like your begging for my help. Like, I'm YOUR leader. You're supposed to fucking be MY mentor. I can endure no more! I demand you remember who you are! It was YOU, who believed in me…”

and it was a very close friend who I lost in a tragic accident. So what the fuck do you do when you’re in a world that you can’t escape?  I felt so expose and vulnerable after seeing him again, then the next time I turned around I just saw my own reflection speaking to me,

“I ain't giving up faith, and you ain't giving up on me. Get up! I'm dying, I need you, come back for fuck's sake.”

This song spoke to me in a way that something inside of me awoke and I’m desperately trying to defeat the demons inside of me.  Inspiration can come from a song, a story, or a person and it always seems music is there for me. I know I can pick up the phone and there is someone always willing to listen, but I’m better at listening then expressing myself, but that’s why I have my pen and paper.  The hardest and easiest thing for me to do is to write but the fear of someone reading my thoughts paralyzes me with fear.  I need to get over this because if I want to move foward then I’m going to have to develop a tolerance and hopefully writing a blog or two and the help of my friends and family, I can get shit done.  I know that “it literally feels like a lifetime ago,” but hopefully I can find myself.



Trailer Park

The Hangover part 2

I loved the shit out of the first one. It was hilarious, well written, and just a cool wild ride. This is the ultimate bachelor party movie. Everybody wishes they partied like these guys did but they didn't. They're lying.

I was actually concerned about this movie. Sequels to great comedies are usually terrible, but this one seems OK. Yes it seems like they stick to the same shtick from the first one, but why is that a bad thing?

I'm definitely looking forward to this one:






Captain America: The First Avenger

OK, this is actually the last individual movie of the Avengers before the big Avengers movie. For those that do not know, the Avengers (for the movie) would be Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, The Hulk, and names that you wouldn't recognize such as Hawkeye or the Black Widow (yes, from Iron Man 2). I'm not a huge fan of Captain America, but I am very familiar with the character. This movie seems to have the right tone and set in the 50's. How will a hero that was around in the 50's be partners with the rest of the Avengers today? I know, and if you don't, you'll have to watch the movie to find out:



Super

To satisfy your indie 'dark comedy' thirst, I'm including this little movie. I first saw a clip of this movie and thought it was a ridiculously stupid movie (in a bad way). I was shocked to find out that Ellen Page was in this, and that she would pick this turd after the incredible Chris Nolan movie, "Inception". Then I saw the trailer, and ehhhh. This movie could still be a turd, but at least it now seems somewhat interesting. The fact that Ellen Page is in this, means that I won't mind catching it... on Netflix... streaming... someday. Or if someone pays for my ticket. The line, "Shut-up Crime!" as his superhero slogan is kind of funny.

January Ends

Triumph at Comic Con
This is Just Disturbing
Hackensack in the News
Infamuz Movie Review: The Green Hornet
Trailer Park: Battle: Los Angeles


Triumph at Comic Con

I'm on a bit of Triumph binge right now. I really wanted to play a different video, but it was blocked from sharing. But this one's a pretty funny one. He goes after the extreme version of geekdom, he goes to comic con. Comic con, for those of you who don't know, is an annual convention of shit nerds and dorks like like comic books, old sci-fi television shows, action figure collectibles, comic books at great prices (even rare ones... so I've been told...). You also have comic book and TV show creators and stars, you are basically in geek heaven (though now-a-days they're pretty much gone commercial though). Anyway by the list of things I've listed, you can bet that the geekiest of geeks go to these things and tend to... well, you know... get their geek on. ANYWAY, these guys get triumph to open up their super-geek convention.

I will say that its best you get a drink, and set up a smooth vibe and just think of the geekiest cat you knew back in High School.



LOL, I love that guy. I remember when I first saw him on Conan, I had tears running down my face and couldn't stop laughing. It was when he went to a Star Trek Convention and just talked to the people on line. I tried to embed that video but couldn't. I do have a Link you can click here. Oh man, he's terrible to some of these people, but honestly, they need to hear it.

This is Just Disturbing

Now being an upstanding citizen, I normally frown on bringing up adult movies in such a high class environment as this one. I've kept it relatively clean save for some "risque" language.

Now the adult industry is no stranger of ripping off television and film characters in order to rake in a few bucks. At the end of the day these are usually at least a little bit of a hoot since its an adult movie. With adult movies, there are certain expectations outside of the sexual content. We expect the script to be terrible, and for the female characters to get turned on by things that no normal woman would get turned on by.

People who watch these movies put these critiques aside in favor of said 'sexual content'. When I saw the Seinfeld porn, it was a little weird and not too sexy, but it still got the job done (I found the Friends porn much better). This... may just be a little too disturbing, I don't see this as something that would get the job done. I don't even know why anyone would think this would be a good idea. It disturbed me so much, I thought, "Hey, I should disturb others with this."

Put all senses on hold and watch:


See? You just come out of it feeling a little too sleazy.

Hackensack in the News

Yes, well as you know, Hackensack is a world famous city. A city so filled with hope that is has the distinct honor of being targeted by Lex Luthor himself (in the first Superman movie). Superman saved us and all is well now. Well just today, a freaking plane landed on Rt 80.

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Yeah, it was a small plane, but its still interesting. Now this doesn't have the same gravity as Lex Luthor targeting us with a Missile, but this about as interesting as you get in the real world. Thankfully nobody was hurt, and the plane got towed. I'd love to have a drink with the pilot, as he now has a kick-ass story about how he, "had to land on Rt 80 this one time." I know I'd milk that story everywhere I went. Shit, if the name of the pilot doesn't really go out, I'd pretend I was him.

Movie Review: The Green Hornet

OK, I'm geeky about certain things, and that includes superheroes. I always hope for the best when it comes to turning a beloved comic book character into a box office draw. This one is a special case as this character's actual origins are not comic books but radio serials back in 'the good old days'. But it wasn't too long before he had a comic book of his own. At the time of the campy batman show, the Green Hornet actually had its own program. It wasn't as campy, but it wasn't great stuff either. The best thing about it was that Bruce Lee played Kato.

This movie is not bad. If I sound a little down on the movie is simply because I was expecting it to be better. The cast was there. Kato was cool and unmatched in hand to hand combat,  Britt, who was played by Seth Rogen, was... well he was Seth Rogen. You kind of know what to expect from him and he delivers the same.

The action scenes were pretty cool, as was that 'Kato Vision' (how Kato sees things as he's whooping everyone's ass). In Thailand Jay Chou (Kato) is a pretty big pop star and actor. You can definitely see his charisma, though he does seem to struggle with the language a bit. His Kato was charming, funny, and pretty bad-ass. Even with the language issue, you never see Jay's cool get disturbed because he may have trouble pronouncing some stuff. He comes off pretty bad-ass, and I think outshines everyone else with the exception of the main villain.

Christof Waltz plays Chudnofsky, the main mob boss that the Green Hornet needs to take down. Waltz is almost as charming as he was in Inglorious Basterds. Waltz really does great work with what could have been a pretty bland villain. He is definitely a highlight of the movie.

Cameron Diaz shows up to create friction between the guys. She has the great pleasure of playing 'Cameron Diaz at a newspaper company'. You know she's cute, you know she wants to be taken seriously, you know the character. But its not like she was bad, it was just that her character's scenes made me dislike Britt (the Green Hornet). Apparently he cannot help being a complete douche around her. I don't know what the whole purpose of her character was other than to not make me like the main character.

Overall this movie was not bad, but nothing great either. It does have a bunch of funny moments and the action was crisp. But there are also a bunch of dull moments and a lot of time is spent on not getting me to like the main character. That guy is a spoiled douche at the start of the movie. And at the end even though he does redeem himself in some ways, I still felt like he was still douche at the end of the movie. But I will at least say that he is a douche that risked his life for something worthwhile.

I'd grade it a 7 (out of 10).

(where 1 is 'I would rather kill myself than see this bullshit again', 10 is 'I LOVE THIS MUTHERFUCKING MOVIE!' and 5 is, 'ehhhh, if its on TV and there was nothing on I'd watch it').


Trailer Park:

  Battle: Los Angeles
      Now everything about this trailer says that this will be a wild movie. They really sold it to me on this trailer. Not only will I just catch it, I'll catch it on the biggest, most obnoxious IMAX or 3D. Just wow. Specially, because I'm a geek, and there's very few things we like more than interstellar war.  Michelle Rodriguez is in this, so is Aaron Eckhart. I'm sold on this.


 

Tuesday's Comeback

Yeah, I've been away for awhile. What can I say, I got a new 9-5, then I the holidays snuck up on me and well, there's the booze. But I have returned and will try to make these more frequent. Maybe once a week.



Triumph the Insult Comic Dog Does Hawaii
Good News/Bad News: Jesus Is Coming In May
Navy Gone Wild
Trailer Park: Fast Five - Your Highness - Pirates of the Caribbean 4

Triumph the Insult Comic Dog Does Hawaii

In honor of the truly shitty weather we've been having I decided to throw this old clip that he did a few years ago. You can tell its a little old by the quality of the video.

Now normally I love Hawaii. I mean if anyone offered me a free ticket I'd take it 9 out of 10 times. But after the last snowfall I'm a little bit on the envious side. If Hawaii were a person I'd follow it into a dark alleyway stab it, and steal the weather. I'm from Peru so fuck this 20° bullshit. I can hardly move when its that cold!



So until it gets warmer, or I actually go there, Fuck Hawaii.


Good News/Bad News: Jesus Is Coming In May
That's right save the date Jesus returns on May 11, 2011 (yay!). You'd think that's just good news, but alas, according to Christians all over, when Jesus comes back means the world is about to end (poo).

The latest batch of religious nuts now have figured out the date for the return of Jesus. And they want to warn us that this is going to happen in just a few months. Though they don't tell us where he is coming back to. Personally, I hope he doesn't land in the middle east again as that didn't work out so well for him before. Shoot, if he lands there now we may actually mistake him for Osama Bin Laden and accidentally bomb him. I mean we all know how most Americans feel about bearded middle east folk. I hope he lands nearby as I'd love to take a picture with him and post it on Facebook (I'd label it, "Me and Slick J").



Now, I'm glad that this chick is nice enough to warn us all about the upcoming rapture and all, but seriously can't Jesus wait until winter? What race will he come back as? And what does it mean that he's coming in May? Does it mean that in May 11 he'll do the whole 'being born' thing again? Or will he come back already grown up? And if he is born and sends some people early to heaven (which means KILLING their mortal bodies) and then destroys the rest of the world, doesn't that make him the anti-Christ? Can't Deities come up with a better way to get our attention other than mass murder? Ahhh all these questions. Maybe I can friend this chick on Facebook and get some answers. Until then, here is a Jesus that doesn't want to kill all of us, but wants to be our buddy:

Now for an eerie twist, there have been some events that have recently been happening that may get the fearful to further believe the end is near. In Arkansas thousands of birds have apparently just fallen from the skies on New Year's eve for some unknown reason. There are some attempted scientific explanations such as high altitude hail (which is odd that it never became low altitude hail), or lightning. Yes, the explanations are weak, but it just happened so people are still looking into it. Now coincidentally about 100,000 fishes are dead in Arkansas (about 100 miles from the bird incident). People for now just think the fish died of a disease which is better than lighting killing a few thousand birds. I don't know what our home-girl from the video above feels about all of this, but I bet she's not worried about continuing her car payments past May.

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Navy Gone Wild

Apparently a former navy XO (Executive Officer) made the mistake of having a personality and a wicked sense of humor while in the Navy. This guy has been making some videos that do not represent the best the Navy has to offer. Now I'm all for play wherever you are and for funny little skits, but not while wearing a uniform. The newscaster stiffens things up quite a bit, but once you get to the video clips you may find it quite funny. Now the guy has been relieved of duty, but his videos will live forever somewhere...

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Again, shame on him while doing it on duty, but dang some of that ish is kinda funny. Now I know guys shower together all the time. At the gym, in dorms, in YMCA's and Boy's and Girl's clubs, but, if dudes are going to shower together, shouldn't they find a bigger shower? I know if it was a shower that small I'd just wait for the other mutherfucker to finish and get out (the girls are fine). I mean they had to deal with "Don't Ask Don't Tell" back then and if you see that shower piece you don't really have to ask, and you hope to God they decide not to tell.


Trailer Park:
     Fast Five
The fast are still furious and this time they have to deal with The Rock. This sequel actually does look pretty cool and The Rock looks as ready to rip someone's head off as ever. The last movie wasn't terrible and I'd catch this as I'm a Rock fan, and Paul Walker is actually starting to win me over (please see his performance in Running Scared before you laugh at me too much)


     Your Highness
This is what we in the business call a "Red-Band Trailer" (as opposed to the green-band trailers). Simply, this means that it is not meant for all audiences. This one is with another actor (James Franco) who I think will win an Oscar some day (though not for this but maybe for "127 Hours"). When I first started to watch this I thought it was pretty bad, until the booze kicked in and then I thought this was pretty funny. Oh and Natalie Portman is in this, and yeah she looks good.



     Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Captain Jack Sparrow is back... again. This time he is going after the Fountain of Youth. Now all the Orlando Bloom fans will be disappointed to hear that he does not return in this one. I hope this one is good as the last Pirates movie left a bad taste in my mouth. I don't know why Penelope Cruz is playing a hot chick, but alas she is, and as always she looks like she needs more body to really come off as hot.